DEATH IS COMING!
by fifthcru5ader
Summary: Ah, the wonder of random fics. Follow Adolf, Tarty Slag and Fat F**k for more excitement than an episode of Knightmare.


Ok, one day in the shabby god-forsaken town called Port Abel there were three people, Fat Fuck, Adolf Hitler and Tarty Slag. They hated each other, m'kay? ABSOLUTEY FUCKING DESPISED EACH OTHER. But their god, which was apparently called Elisha Wright, had forced them to live together. So they gave up religion due to this FUCKING MISFORTUNE that Elisha had set upon them. Not that they could leave their field of nothing to get to the church without Elisha's say so anyways.

"Well this is the shiznit(!)" Fat Fuck grumped when they first got to their field. He was such a fat motherfucking asswipe. Which gave him his name. And that's Fat Fuck in case you weren't paying attention.

"Heil the Furah!" Adolf barked. Adolf was an up-his-own-ass kind of person. He did not give a flying fuck where he lived as long as everyone respected him.

"Fuck me now!" Tarty Slag laid on her back and lifted her skirt revealing.. Uh.. Use your imagination, 'k?

(Of course, they were saying this in Hebrew. Or Swedish. Or Gaelic. Whatever.)

Tarty Slag had earned her name for.. Ehh... Being a tarty slag who'd fuck a cat as long as she got some pleasure out of it. She had many children called Baccy and Wacci and Winona and Jeehova and Shitface and Donkey Raper and Cigarette and Fartshumper and Fag and Joint and Arse and Princess Celestia and Fuck and Bitch and Bastard and Twat and Zekrom and Plebbington and Fahkinshiet and Pussyfuck and PaRappa and Pillowhump and Heliseus and Tryfan and Pewdiepie and Yamimash and ArsefagwallopTwilightSparklesplabmybuttGreatandPow erfulTrixiehornjobciggywackybaccysaharadryhumpergr andmashiteatingVinylScratchhavinglesbiansexwithOct aviahrududuBuckthornFivermalepreganancygaypornoorg ysexualgyration*gasps for breath*abortionembryoieatbabyrabbitsandPaRappaisga ywithahugegiantteddybearcalledPJandfuckinghellican tbearsedtonameanymoresoillstopsellingmybodylikesuc hatartyslag.

*gasps for breath* I swear now. That's all.

Anyway back to the story. Fat Fuck was petting a dog that didn't belong to him and it tore his hand off. Blood sprayed everywhere. "Fat Fuck, stop petting ze hund." Adolf frowned. Fat Fuck smiled at Adolf cos he thought he actually cared but Adolf said "it vill give ze hund indigestion." Fat Fuck pouted at his enemy/housemate and he went to the pet store (with Elisha's permission) and bought a Canaan dog called Tanner.

"Tanner, attack!" Fat Fuck commanded, pointing at Adolf, who had just finished making the birds in the trees tweet the Nazi anthem (whatever that may be). The dog rushed forward, teeth bared but stopped when Adolf put his hand up and ordered

"HALT, HUND!" The dog went all friendly. Adolf bent over and stroked Tanner. Tanner liked that.

"What a cute doggy!" Tarty Slag made her way over to the Canaan dog. "Have you trained it to lick pussy yet?" Fat Fuck, Adolf and Tanner looked at Tarty Slag in disgust.

Anyway Fat Fuck, being the fat fucker he was, whined

"I'm hungry! Can't we have some food?"

"Uhh.. Nowpe :)" Elisha replied.

"Why ze fuck not?" Adolf shouted "ve vill shtarve!"

"Well, that's kind of the idea." Elisha explained "I'm bored with maintaining proper households so I've started making ugly people and killing them" she made three ghost Sims appear, they were called Schetzo, Fat Bitch and Skinny Tart.

"They all died of starvation." Elisha added

"Why?" Tarty Slag pouted

"Because I don't know how else to kill them" Elisha continued "you see, my BlackBerry Internet Service ran out a few days ago so I can't check."

"Oh" they all chorused like dumbfucks.

"Anyway, I will put you all in a wall!" Elisha tried to surround them with a brick wall but it wouldn't let her because it blocked them from getting to the post box

"Applebucking shit! OmO" cursed Elisha. Everyone looked at the sky in confusion.

"Oh, it's Bronyspeak. Applebucking means either 'fucking' or 'motherfucking' in this case it being the latter."

"Its so boring! There is no one to fuck!" Tarty Slag whined.

"At least ve can fight and kill each other!" And Adolf started to fight with Fat Fuck and everyone fought each other and they were so tired they fell on the floor and because they couldn't go to the bathroom they pissed themselves every so often.

"Hahahahaha!" Elisha laughed "this is much better than watershed television!" (Because it was half an hour past midnight in real human world time)

They died after a while and Elisha looked significantly at the dog. She made him go into the unfinished brick wall prison thingy and was just about to close it up when two women Sims sauntered into the holding pen.

"Oh goody!" Elisha grinned, closing the wall and trapping the two women and the dog.

The dog lived off the pee of himself and the women

"Oh no you don't!" Elisha frowned, cancelling the action like a million times but frowning again when his hunger bar went to orange.

"Applebuck you!" The two women stared at the sky "Bronyspeak."

Anyway the two women ran around in confusion trying to find an exit because Sims seem to lack the ability to climb. Must be the drinking water. Elisha watched in amusement as the two now-anorexic women groaned in hunger and cursed to the lonely and sadistic MOTHERFUCKING GOD they had. Except Elisha doesn't fuck her own ma. That would be downright gross :P.

"How much bucking LONGER?!" Elisha growled. She lied about for like a FUCKING HALF-HOUR waiting for these BASTARD MISCREANTS to DIE. Then they groaned in death-ness and fell to the ground and disappeared in a piss-scented poof of air.

"Now to kill the dog." Elisha waited another SON-OF-A-BITCH QUARTER OF A MOTHERFUCKING HOUR. For some reason Elisha developed Tourette's syndrome for the sake of this story. The dog kept on drinking his piss and finally it stopped to Elisha screamed

"DEATH IS COMING MOTHERFUCKER." And the dog died. But then after the time (45 mins) elapsed it was quarter past one so her Grandma burst into the room and demanded for all Elisha's electronics to be handed over.

The MOTHERFUCKING end.


End file.
